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I know it's a bit late, as this little tid-bit of information should certainly have come well before today, but I rather enjoyed reading it this morning, so I wanted to share with all of you. Plus, it is very possible this might come in handy on other occasions as well, if nothing else, maybe we can all remember it for next year.
How to Survive If You Have No One To Kiss On New Year's Eve1. Kiss a pet. Dogs are generally agreeable and have clean mouths. Cats are usually well groomed but are more passive and tend to get rather than give. Keep your mouth closed.
2. Kiss yourself. Find a mirror, pucker up, lean close, and kiss. Keep your lips slightly parted. Do not attempt to use your tongue. Wipe the mirror after you have completed your kiss. You may also try kissing the back of your hand.
3. Hug a pillow. Full-body pillows are more satisfying.
4. Call a friend on the phone. After you wish your friend a Happy New Year, give the telephone mouthpiece loud, smacking kisses.
What more can I add to that...it's all there. Happy New Year!
-Chel
In preparation for the upcoming turkey feast, I felt the following information might come in very handy.
How to Extinguish A Burning Turkey
 1) Close the oven and broiler doors. Turn off the oven. 2) Open nearby windows. Smoke will pour out the oven vent. If possible, close the doors to the kitchen to contain the smoke. 3) Wait five minutes. Ovens are designed for high heat and should contain the fire without a problem. Keep the doors closed to avoid adding oxygen to the fire. 4) Open the oven door slightly. After five minutes, the turkey fire should have burned itself out. If it is still burning, close the door immediately and wait several minutes before opening the door again. If the fire continues to burn for more than ten minutes, call the fire department (and then go out to eat). Happy Cooking! -Chel
A few weeks ago, Sarah and AJ had gone up to be with their dad overnight. They drove back the next morning with Sam in two, Sarah driving. The roads were wet, and I admit I'm a worry wart. I kept checking the commuter link web site, which shows pictures of the road at random places. These cameras update every few minutes. I was initially checking for the road conditions, but hoped I'd see their car in one of the pics. I know that's so statistically impossible. They would have to be on the road at the exact spot the camera was facing and at the exact second the camera was taking a pic. But ... lo and behold ... I saw them. Not once, but three times. Each time I'd text them, "Did you just pass ... " and they'd answer they did. How very odd, but very cool, and amazingly random. I love it when the Universe shows up for me like that.
Chelle
How to Survive If You Fall Into A Cesspool
Because you never know...
 1. Get out quickly. In cases of falls into cesspools and septic tanks, the most common cause of death is asphyxiation from methane gas. The gas causes rapid unconsciousness; deaths in as few as two minutes have been recorded.
2. Hold your breath for as long as possible between taking breaths.
3. If you cannot climb out, give one loud shout for help. In-use tanks and pools will be full nearly to the top with liquid and solid waste. Do not shout repeatedly - this will deplete your air supply.
4. Once out, get at least 10 feet away from the tank before trying to catch your breath.
And now you know. Just in case.
- Chel
Remember that scene from the movie "Home Alone" where the kid plays movie scenes to scare the thieves away? I revisited that scene while working. The other day a coworker (Linda) and I went to visit a client in his home.
We arrived at the home and stood on the front porch. Through the window, we could hear that he was watching an old Western movie. I could hear the dramatic music, and while Linda was trying to get her file open to remember the client's name, we hear from the movie, "You after the money or me?"
Linda and I looked at each other and chuckled. I could see him looking through his blinds at me, so I said to Linda, still fiddling with the file, "He sees us, so I'm going to at least knock."
Right after I knocked, the movie said, "Looks like we've got company!"
At least we were both smiling when the client opened the door!
Chelle
It has been a while since I've offered tid-bits of such valuable information. So I'll take the time now to enlighten everyone on a very important topic:
How to Escape If Trapped In A Lion Cage
 1. Do not run.
2. Watch for signs of an attack. A low staccato growl, combined with eye contact and a lashing tail, usually indicates that an attack is likely.
3. Find a defensive tool. Moving very slowly, pick up a water bowl, bench, or anything else within reach that may be used to fend off a charge.
4. Back away slowly.
5. Watch for mock charges. A lion may make several "mock" charges before actually attacking. It will run forward, then stop. Mock-charging shows that a real attack is imminent.
6. Yell as loudly as you can. Lions are sensitive to noise; yelling may discourage further charges.
7. Fend off attack. Push its paws and head away from you with a nearby object.
8. Keep screaming as loudly as possible.
Now, aren't you so glad you came by to learn all of this?
-Chel
On March 3, 1876, a shower of meat chunks, one to four square inches in size, rained down on Bath county in Kentucky. No one was injured by the falling meat, which had the appearance of beef (but tasted more like venison or lamb, according to sources). Numerous studies were done on the meat to ascertain what it was. Though early opinion was that it was no more than some sort of vegetable matter, it was determined that the samples studied were cartilage, lung tissue, and muscle. The final conclusion was that the meat had fallen from buzzards or vultures who vomited their meals while flying overhead.
 Yum.
-Chel
I love it when my food looks at me.
Do you think that make me crazy?
Chelle
How to Treat a Tongue Stuck to a Frozen Pole:
1. Do not pull your tongue off the pole. Pulling sharply will be very painful.  2. Move closer to the pole. Get as close as possible without letting more of your tongue's surface area touch the pole.
3. Warm the pole with your hands. A tongue will stick when the surface of the pole is very cold. The top layers of the tongue will freeze when it touches the pole, causing bonding. Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole closest to your tongue. Hold them there for several minutes. If hot water is available, pour it on the tongue and pole.
4. Take a test pull. As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue should begin to thaw. Gently pull your tongue away from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on the pole, which will be painful, but your tongue will quickly heal. -Chel
Wow ... we've been silent a long time, haven't we. I apologize. Masters programs and internships and teenagers take a lot of my time. But I do have a funny experience to share.
In one of my classes, our instructor had us introduce ourselves and where we were from. A woman from the back of the room said she was Cynthia (fake name) and she was from Tehachipi CA. This happens to be where I lived until I was 7 years old, so I decided I'd go talk to her after class, not expecting to have anything in common other than Tehachipi.
After class, I went up to her and said I lived in Tehachipi until I was 7. She said, "Didn't you say in another class you're going to be 41 soon?" I said I did. She said, "I am too!"
Then she asked me if I remembered where I lived when I lived there and I named the street. She said, "Me, too!" We compared notes and found that she lived a block away from me.
I called my mom and told her that I found a girl who lived a block away when I was little and told her the last name. She said she remembered Cynthia and that I played with her when we were little. I do have a vague memory of her ... a little girl playing ball in her driveway ... I wonder if that's really her ...
How strange, huh. And when you think about all the little tiny things that needed to be in place for this little coincidence to take place, it's astounding. Is there some meaning to this, or is this just an interesting happening?
Regardless, cool, huh.
Ok, here are the music lyrics for today. I've gotta say, these made me go, "huh?".
From "The Beautiful People" by Marilyn Manson:
Wrong Lyrics: Just gimme the meatball, just gimme the meatball Right Lyrics: The beautiful people, the beautiful people Not being one who listens to Marilyn Manson, I can't say I understand why these lyrics are so very misunderstood. My guess is it's hard to understand anything of what is said, because the words are not sung, they're screamed. - Chel
Don't you just love wrong lyrics to songs? There is a great commercial where two guys download a favorite song, and proceed to make up and sing their own lyrics.
I have a daily calendar that lists some of these amusing lines which I am sure I will share from time to time. But today I want to share one of my own. I had been singing these lines right up until about 5 years ago. And even now, if I don't catch myself, I still sing the wrong lines.
From the song "Africa" by Toto.
Wrong Lyric: There's nothing that a hundred men on Mars could ever do Right Lyric: There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do - Chel
I'm not really a sign seeker. Not over important stuff. But sometimes, when I'm not so sure about what path to take, I'll seek a sign.
Like when I wanted to join Curves 6 months ago. I wasn't sure I wanted to spend almost $40 a month on me. So I sat in my car and tried to feel it out. I could only hone in on my anxiety. So I asked for a sign. "If this is a good idea for me, show me something that will let me know."
I walked in and there was one of my best friends, Shanna Xanadu (obviously not her real name). She was so excited to see me, came up and said with way too much glee, "Are you joining Curves!?"
I guess I am, I said ... Good ol Shanna Xanadu.
 So today, I sought a sign again. I've been having only dead ends when it came to finding a practicum for my schooling. I wanted very much to get one in hospice in the town I actually live in. Finally, after weeks of no luck, my professor suggested a few places in another town 40 miles away. The one I wanted most wasn't available. So he convinced me to try one more.
I got there and it's long term care, which is really hard on me. The guy showing me around was the Administrator and was incredibly likeable. But this was long term care. The one who would train me is new herself. I wasn't quite sure. He took me into his office and we chatted. I was internally saying, "Show me a sign" since all I could hone in on was my discomfort for long term care.
Then he said, "You live in the same town as my sister. I wonder if you know her." I thought not likely, my town is not small by any means. He said, "her name is Shanna Xanadu." I bet he wondered why I sat there with my mouth hanging open for a few seconds.
After some conversation he said, "So are you going to do your practicum here?"
I guess I am, I said ... Good ol' Shanna Xanadu.
Chelle
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