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AJ has a habit of saying some not-so-nice things to his siblings in the name of being funny. I often have to say, "Was that nice?" He says, "no." I say, "Then it wasn't funny." I had to make an exception recently.
Sarah: Mom, my neck hurts. I can't turn my head both ways. I can't look right.
AJ: You've never looked right.
Chelle
The other night, Sarah was handing something to AJ, but dropped it before it reached him.
Sarah: Oh, sorry.
AJ, looking at her incredulously: I'll take that as a "sorry".
Chelle
Ok, I have every intention of doing this blog again. Regularly. Seriously.
And what better story to start out with than share something from one of my greatest sources of humor: AJ.
We were eating dinner as a family. AJ was being his normal self - loud, annoying in the most lovable way, and just plain odd. We love him and enjoy him immensely. Through the process of the meal, we had already laughed at with him several times. (More on that in later posts.) He had just finished eating a plate of a taco salad he built and was ready for more. He picked up a fresh tortilla from the stack, licked his fork clean, and placed the newly licked fork on the remaining tortillas.
Chel must have given him a look - I am sure you can picture which one - and he quickly grabbed his fork from the stack of not-so-fresh-now tortillas. He said, "I'm so ... [looking for the right word] awkward."
Even though he had not chosen the word he wanted, it was the perfect one. We laughed even harder.
Poor awkward kid.
Chelle
The other day, I was exasperated with AJ not doing his homework. I think I must have raised my voice a tad, or I sounded a bit too annoyed. AJ came into the dining room table to do his work and said, "You're not cool when you're like that, Mom."
Funny the only thing that came to my mind was a burning question ... Does that mean I'm normally cool?
Sweet!
Chelle
So Chel and I were having a discussion during dinner today about some upcoming company. We were discussing what to do with her to entertain her. During this entire conversation, AJ was being ... well ... AJ. He was first a pterodactyl, cool noises and all. Then he was a shark, with noises I never heard associated with a shark before, and attacking his roast pork as if it were prey. Then he was switching chairs off and on while still eating from his place at the table, reaching over to eat from his plate.
So I asked him, "Are you going to be goofy when Licia comes to visit?"
He looked dumbfounded. "Goofy?"
I said, "Yes. Goofy. You're being goofy."
"I am?" He looked even more confused and just stared at me.
I said, "I guess you are" with a laugh.
So I sent AJ into his room to clean a bit. He is overwhelmed by the task, so I just sent him to put 15 clean clothing items in their drawers. He wondered what if they were dirty. I said, "Put them in the dirty clothes hamper. And no, that doesn't count toward the 15."
Minutes later, I went to check on him - and wish that's when I had the camera. I could only see his feet. The rest of him was in his clothes hamper. No wonder his room is never clean.
 
This one's even funnier when you add family dynamics to the story. Let's see if I can tell it all without making it too complicated.
Dad calls last night to tell me Mom is in the ICU. Then he does his normal, "Don't worry, she'll be fine" routine. He also tells me nothing. No reason for the visit, no condition is described, nothing the doctor has said is repeated. Any questioning I have leads him to accuse me of being nosy. His words. So somehow, any information I seek brings him to a place of feeling like I doubt his ability to take care of things. He tells me I worry too much and when it's time to worry about something, he'll tell me. I worry anyway.
Last night after I talked to Dad, I called my older sister, thinking maybe she has a secret way to get more information from Dad. She doesn't, and she thinks I worry too much, too. We don't have the best relationship anyway, and I always sense my personality and way of thinking is incredibly foreign and uncomfortable for her.
I worked a grave last night and so slept when I came home. When I woke up, I saw caller ID listed my sister calling once, then my dad, then my sister again. Worried, I called my dad first. He said things were fine, Mom's still in ICU, then he tried to tell me more info, and it seemed quite uncomfortable for him. The info was still quite vague: "Some level is too high, but she'll be fine." But I thought it odd he was making an attempt, even through obvious discomfort.
I then call my sister who says she was worried about me because when we talked last, I didn't seem like myself. I said, "I was fine last night." She said, "No, I mean this morning when I called." I told her I never talked to her and was asleep the whole morning. She said, "I talked to you for 10 minutes this morning. Had a whole conversation with you about mom. You just didn't sound like yourself." I had a hard time convincing her she did not talk to me.
AJ had actually answered the phone when she called. His 13-year old voice apparently sounded just like mine. He talked to my sister for 10-minutes, not once letting her in on the fact that she was not talking to who she thought she was. She even said things like, "You don't sound like my sister" and "Are you sure you're okay, you sound different." Why he didn't let her in on the secret for that amount of time is beyond me.
But the chain reaction was started. My sister was so worried she considered calling 9-1-1. She instead called my dad and told him he needed to call me and give me more info because I wasn't dealing well with things. So then he again thinks I worry too much and am just nosy, and is forced to call me to tell me more so I don't have some nervous breakdown.
Come to find out, AJ was so distracted by his computer game while he was talking to my sister, he had no idea who he was talking to. When she asked to speak to Sarah, he thought it must be my mom. I am not sure when he figured out it was my sister ... but one thing is for sure, she never figured out it was AJ.
But I've called everyone and explained why "I wasn't myself" when Sister called earlier. Apparently I was AJ. And no one needs to worry about me. They're all having a good laugh about it - I hope.
And AJ is banned from answering the phone if he is playing a computer game.
Chelle
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