Survival Tips 101

How to Survive If You Fall Into A Cesspool

Because you never know...

1. Get out quickly. In cases of falls into cesspools and septic tanks, the most common cause of death is asphyxiation from methane gas. The gas causes rapid unconsciousness; deaths in as few as two minutes have been recorded.

2. Hold your breath for as long as possible between taking breaths.

3. If you cannot climb out, give one loud shout for help. In-use tanks and pools will be full nearly to the top with liquid and solid waste. Do not shout repeatedly - this will deplete your air supply.

4. Once out, get at least 10 feet away from the tank before trying to catch your breath.

And now you know. Just in case.

- Chel

Close your mouth when looking up

On March 3, 1876, a shower of meat chunks, one to four square inches in size, rained down on Bath county in Kentucky. No one was injured by the falling meat, which had the appearance of beef (but tasted more like venison or lamb, according to sources). Numerous studies were done on the meat to ascertain what it was. Though early opinion was that it was no more than some sort of vegetable matter, it was determined that the samples studied were cartilage, lung tissue, and muscle. The final conclusion was that the meat had fallen from buzzards or vultures who vomited their meals while flying overhead.

Yum.

-Chel

Survival Tips 101

Some of you may be wondering what is up with these survival tips. Well, generally speaking, these are not based on personal experiences. But sometimes they do offer great advice for those not so common circumstances, or perhaps those rare unlucky times in our lives. I post them here to enlighten, inspire, teach, and sometimes to give us all something to shake your heads at.

The following would be one of those unlucky times in our lives...

How to Outwit A Pack of Wolves

1. Slowly move to solid terrain. In winter, wolves tend to chase their prey into deep snow or onto frozen lakes where hooves sink or slide. Do not crouch down, and do not run. Wolves are capable of bursts of high speed, as fast as 35 mph over short distances.

2. Observe the wolves' posture. A tail straight up in the air and ears pricked up are signals of dominance and often indicate that the wolf is preparing to attack.

3. Charge one member of the pack. Running toward one wolf while yelling may scare it and the other members of the pack away from you.

4. If the wolves continue to attack, throw sticks and rocks at the closest animals. Kick or hit the wolves as they approach you until you scare them off.

....and if that doesn't work, well, say hello to Little Red Riding Hood's grandma.

-Chel

Survival Tips 101

How to Treat a Tongue Stuck to a Frozen Pole:

1. Do not pull your tongue off the pole. Pulling sharply will be very painful.

2. Move closer to the pole. Get as close as possible without letting more of your tongue's surface area touch the pole.

3. Warm the pole with your hands. A tongue will stick when the surface of the pole is very cold. The top layers of the tongue will freeze when it touches the pole, causing bonding. Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole closest to your tongue. Hold them there for several minutes. If hot water is available, pour it on the tongue and pole.

4. Take a test pull. As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue should begin to thaw. Gently pull your tongue away from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on the pole, which will be painful, but your tongue will quickly heal.

-Chel

Makes You Go "Hmmm..."

AJ is enjoying his new school. He's doing so well there. I'm concerned about his new favorite teacher, though ...

He tells me they were reading a story and the story mentioned medication. She informed the class she is medicated.

A student asked what she takes medication for.

"So I don't kill any kids at school," was her reply.

Signs

I'm not really a sign seeker. Not over important stuff. But sometimes, when I'm not so sure about what path to take, I'll seek a sign.

Like when I wanted to join Curves 6 months ago. I wasn't sure I wanted to spend almost $40 a month on me. So I sat in my car and tried to feel it out. I could only hone in on my anxiety. So I asked for a sign. "If this is a good idea for me, show me something that will let me know."

I walked in and there was one of my best friends, Shanna Xanadu (obviously not her real name). She was so excited to see me, came up and said with way too much glee, "Are you joining Curves!?"

I guess I am, I said ... Good ol Shanna Xanadu.

So today, I sought a sign again. I've been having only dead ends when it came to finding a practicum for my schooling. I wanted very much to get one in hospice in the town I actually live in. Finally, after weeks of no luck, my professor suggested a few places in another town 40 miles away. The one I wanted most wasn't available. So he convinced me to try one more.

I got there and it's long term care, which is really hard on me. The guy showing me around was the Administrator and was incredibly likeable. But this was long term care. The one who would train me is new herself. I wasn't quite sure. He took me into his office and we chatted. I was internally saying, "Show me a sign" since all I could hone in on was my discomfort for long term care.

Then he said, "You live in the same town as my sister. I wonder if you know her." I thought not likely, my town is not small by any means. He said, "her name is Shanna Xanadu." I bet he wondered why I sat there with my mouth hanging open for a few seconds.

After some conversation he said, "So are you going to do your practicum here?"

I guess I am, I said ... Good ol' Shanna Xanadu.

Chelle