Amazing

As I've mentioned before, one of the lines I answer at work is a drug and alcohol referral line. Not only do I refer people to treatment centers in their area, I also answer basic questions about drugs and alcohol. One of the most frequent ones I get have to do with "Did I do too much?" which sometimes boil down to "Am I going to die now?" I just hope they learn their lessons ...

But I got one that was kind of fun for me. The guy called, talked clearly but quickly. "I've had a lot to drink. I wonder if you can tell me if I'm in trouble."

"What kind of trouble do you mean?" I asked for clarification.

"Well, like should I go to an emergency room?" he asked.

"What symptoms are you having that are concerning you?" I asked for more clarification.

"None really ... I just think I had a lot to drink," he replied.

"Well, you are talking fine. Have you peed?" I asked.

"Yeah, a few times," he answered.

"Do you feel like vomiting?" I asked.

"No, not really," he said.

"Are you sweating more than you normally do?" I asked further.

"Nope," he said.

"Ok, then," I went on. "You are talking fine, you've peed, you're not sick, you aren't sweating ... I think you're going to be just fine."

"Wow! You're amazing!" he said with great joy. ::dial tone::

Well, thanks for the compliment.