Reason for Admission

Ok, here's another work story. Another part of my job is answering lines from hospitals in 3 states and getting a Mental Health Professional called to do an assessment for a patient in their Emergency Room. These are generally very boring calls. Comparitively speaking, I suppose.

One night, I got a call from a hospital in another state who asked for an assessment. To fill out my form, I have to ask several questions about the patient. Name, birthday, social security number, health insurance, and reason for the assessment.

It usually goes quite well.

"Why are they needing an assessment?"

"They are suicidal." Or "They are homicidal." Or "They are withdrawing from substances." etc.

Pretty simple.

On this night, though, it got a little weird.

"Why are they needing an assessment?"

"The doctor wants it done."

"Is she suicidal?"

"No."

"Is she homicidal?"

"No," sounding bewildered. "She's sleeping."

"I mean, why was she brought to the hospital?"

"She overdosed on pills."

"Oh. So she's suicidal."

"No. She's sleeping," sounding very exasperated with me.

"Ok. She's sleeping currently. But if she were awake, she would be suicidal."

"Probably not. She's in the hospital, ma'am."

"Ok, thanks for the info," I end the call cheerfully.

I mark "Suicidal."

I wish there were a box on my form "Caller not all there."