Sunday, January 27, 2008

Survival Tips 101

How To Survive A Night In Jail


1. Request a single. If you notice an empty cell, ask to be housed there. Do not offer special reasons for wanting a private cell - those factors may work against you if you are later placed in a group cell.

2. Do not show fear. Fear means weakness in jail. If you cannot stop shaking, pretend you are psychologically unsound: Wave your arms around, babble nonsense, and yell at no one in particular.

3. Do not sleep. Sit on the floor with your back to the wall, preferably in a corner of the cell. Do not remove any clothing to use as a blanket or pillow, or you will risk losing the item to other inmates.

4. Keep to yourself. Do not start a conversation with anyone, but do not be rude. Answer any questions you are asked, and keep your responses short.

5. Do not accept favors. Resist the temptation to ask for or accept help.

6. Do not try to escape.

This is for after we survive being stopped by the police while we are waiting for our lawyer. :)

-Chel

3 comments:

Emily said...

I can't tell you how brilliant I find your advice. This should definitely come in handy.

Marmoreal said...

I now feel so prepared ;)

Spaceman Spiff said...

exactly how do you know these helpful hints???

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